Good evening, my friends. Today I shal be telling you how to survive a zombie apocalypse in the unlikely event of a nuclear war followed by the dead rising from their oh-so comfy coffins.Today we shall be doing a little test. I shall ask you some questions, and you will be answering them. If you get one wrong, sorry. You're dead. I will come to your funeral, yadda yadda yadda, blah. Anyhoo.... LET US START.
Question 1. What is the best zombie protection?
ANSWER: A regular light-weight jumper wrapped in duct tape. Let me explain - A zombie has all of the PHYSICAL capabilities of a human, just not the MENTAL capabilities. This means a regular human would just peel off the duct tape and bite you, nonetheless zombies cannot do that because they are not smart enough. As for the physical capabilities, can YOU bite through duct tape? No? Haha, I did not think so. Can YOU bite someone's arm, covered by a jumper, covered by duct tape? Aha! This means a ZOMBIE cannot.
Question 2. Where would you hide if there was a zombie apocalypse?
ANSWER: A hardware store and/or a grocery store are your best bets. A grocery store will supply food, water, supplies, utensils (such as knives) etcetera. A hardware store will provide lots of useful weapons and barricades.
Question 3. What's better to fend off a zombie: a hammer or a chainsaw?
ANSWER: This is vital to your safety in a zombie apocalypse. Answering wrong may put your life in danger and EVEN KILL YOU. The correct answer? A hammer. You may be brainwashed by all those zombie movies where the hero saves the maiden and kills all the zombies with a chainsaw, but your BEST BET is to smash their head in. Blunt weapons will work better, since sharp weapons will only dull easily and become of little or no use at all.
Very well. How did you score? Comment. AND DON'T CHEAT, BY READING THE ANSWERS FIRST. Or else. Me and my zombie friends shall find you and - No wait, scratch that. Haha!
~ Pia out. Actually, I'm a little freaked out now and must go lock my windows.
Information provided by the good people at the Zombie Research Society -
http://www.zombieresearchsociety.com/
and my friend's older brother, who seems to be an expert and is already collecting items for a zombie survival kit, in case of a zombie apocalypse.
I know this is going to sound REALLY snobby, but... It would NOT be ideal to be in a supermarket or Bunnings because of the sliding doors and the amount of people...
ReplyDeletePerhaps. Yet, everyone would be in a panic and at home, locking their doors, and as for the sliding doors? Pile stuff against it and block the exits.
ReplyDeleteBut that would keep the doors OPEN cause the doors sence big bulky thingummys
ReplyDeleteP'rhaps.
ReplyDeleteIf you're on this get on Gmail :P
ReplyDeleteI need to tell you something.